Well, okay, this afternoon. Damn, everyone’s making a fuss. Anyway, it’s Malt-O-Meal flavored with brown sugar, cinnamon, and real maple syrup. Oh, and I make it slowly so as to avoid any lumps. There is nothing worse than lumpy Malt-O-Meal. And I’m finishing off the last of the biscuits that I made in the shape of muffins. They are slathered in butter and topped with heaps of raspberry jam.

Nom, nom.

Oh, and did you know there are people who actually like lumps in their Malt-O-Meal? Seriously. They exist! They walk amongst us. I know, I know. I can hear you say “Guy, say it ain’t so!” I wish I could. But I can’t. When you shop in the mall, or go to the movies, they are shopping or watching “The Transformers” right along side you! They’re driving on the same streets as you!

Yes, I know. Scary monsters.

Be afraid. Be very afraid………